I am far away from my family right now because I love them. I could stay near them and hold each of my kids; I could daily kiss my wife and stare into her beautiful eyes. But I would not be loving them responsibly. I am driven to give my best so they can have the best I have. Right now that means that I must be removed from them and love them from a distance. It also means that they have to learn to love me in my absence. They know I am here. They know that I am sacrificing for them. My kids know my standards for their behavior. My wife is a constant reminder to them of my expectations; Joe and Jackie are reminders as well. Sometimes I call and talk to them, I verbally remind them that I love them. Sometimes when I call, I find out that my kids need to hear the stern fatherly voice that I need to employ from time to time. I try, often, to remind them that since they can't show me their love through hugs and kisses and tangible ways, they have to show me their love through their obedience to me via their mother. Tiffanie is constantly displaying her love to me through her consistent emotional support and constant good mothering of our children. She does so much more than just "holding the fort down," she mothers and is a housewife with a heart of service to me and worship to God. My kids vaguely understand this odd form of loving; this intangible way of loving, with time they will look back and get it. They will look back and my investment will have more meaning than all the hugs and kisses put together would have.
Somewhere it is written that: "We show God our love by our obedience to Him." My heart's desire is that this temporary distance will be some kind of a teaching tool used in the hands of God to teach my children to love intangible Him. We are not fortunate enough to feel Him tangibly but we are able to act out love for Him. We are able to be loved by Him even though He doesn't seem to be present with us. My constant prayer is that my distance is an act that will be translated by God to my kids. I pray that they will understand how much I love them and that this kind of loving will be a model to them for loving God who doesn't always seem to be there. I pray that they seek me out and not forget me. I pray that they long to know me and that they ask my wife, and friends, about me, and what makes me uniquely me when I am not present. I don't want the distance to embitter them or to allow decaying forgetfulness to enter. I will do my part to always pursue them just as I pray they will pursue me. I suspect that's how God feels about us too.
1 comment:
Adam, I can't express how amazing your family is. You in your sacrifice and Tiffanie in her strength. It would be close to impossible for the kids to not grow and see that. You and Tiffanie reflect a Godly love and relationship could not be a better model for your children and friends. We look forward to seeing you in three weeks!!
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