I was contemplative today as Wifey explained to me the results of Theo’s hearing test (Theo hears fine but we will have to watch for some future hearing problems that could develop). She talked while I listened. She gave me details about a place called the Sie Center that she scoped. The Sie Center is a Down Syndrome clinic that we are told is an amazing resource to the parents of, and for children with Down Syndrome. She gushed with emotion as she spoke endearingly of all the emotional support She, Theo and I have. She talked about how blessed we are to be in Denver with our friends and with the many resources we have here. All of that talking got me thinking about how I have possibly underestimated the effects that Down Syndrome may have on Theo and our family.
Part of me thinks that Down Syndrome is a condition whose effect will create just another series of challenges that we will have to face as a family. Facing challenges is not new to us so I am inclined to not give it too much merit. If it isn’t calamitous, if it isn’t urgent, it probably isn’t that bad, right? But... There was the way Wifey was talking... The way so many people are showing such amazing support... all of the expressions of love for Theo... Am I missing something? Should I be panicked? Should I be preparing myself mentally for something about which I am in denial or about which I just haven’t taken the time to consider?
What I do know is that I want to create an environment where Theo’s siblings are not compromised in the shadow of his special needs, but where we give him all the tools, support, teaching, and resources needed to live out his full potential, whatever that might be. I know that I would be remiss if we did not lean on the wisdom and support of others who have walked similar paths, and yet, I am apprehensive of others’ input. We must keep this endeavor of raising and training our son Marquezian. I know that there are lots of great programs out there that help, but help with what? I mean what is the end goal of all the helpers? I don’t have an internal need to make my son normal or even as-normal-as-possible. I am driven to equip him to be the best form of him he can be; to have full expression of who he is in his essence. I am not writing in response to all of our friends who have shared an outpouring of helpful suggestions and resources. I am heavy with the how and what of information that the “experts” are so eager to share.
One of the things weighing on my mind is a natural, healthy skepticism when it comes to the medical industry. I am not extreme on this. I admire medical innovation and I am grateful for the quality of life it has created for us in the U.S.. My skepticism comes from two basic places. The first is that I firmly believe that money, particularly and uniquely in the medical industry, often times speaks more loudly than science and has prioritized concerns other than the best interest of my family members. The second thing that sets me ill-at-ease is the belief that school and experience are not enough to make one wise. I will concede that doctors know more about medicine than I do. I am not sure, however, that if I were equipped with the same knowledge base, I would employ the same strategies and tactics when problem solving as the doctor du jour. I would like to think that whoever is giving advise or is attempting to impart into our lives comes from a source that is in line with our convictions and sentiments; I would like to know that we share the same goals and can respect each other’s strategies. All too often information comes from the medical industry in condescending, this-is-the-way-it-has-to-be-one-size-fits-all kind of ways. Life experience has taught me that there is almost always more than one way to skin a cat. We have mountains of research ahead of us.
Whatever happens I know this: Theo has the most amazing mother, the most committed father, and the best team of loving and supportive siblings a boy could hope for.

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